Bear with me...

I was recently going through some of my old files and stumbled across this and grinned. This is a homily I wrote the summer of 2002 during my hospital chaplaincy internship at San Francisco General Hospital.

As a male homo, I have often felt it difficult to identify with the "youth cult" that dominates the gay media and male images of beauty. Since about 1996, I have identified in various capacities with the bear subculture within the queer communities. At the risk of incurring the wrath of some bears, I invoke the common short-hand description of what a bear is: a gay (bi/trans) male who is bigger, tending to have body hair and a beard. But really, what does it mean for me to be a bear?

For me to begin to answer the question why am I a bear, I would like to proffer to you two images, archetypes that guide my identity as a bear. The first is from my childhood, a cartoon from the 1980’s called The Care Bears. The care bears were anthropomorphic teddy bears who had emblems on their tummies that determined their disposition (which tended to be warm, nurturing, and loving); and they would go around thwarting evil and intolerance by working together as a team. One thing that is important to me, is that I strive to embody is love, acceptance, and nurturance, and it is in community with others that these qualities are important, for it is in community that we realize our full potential.

Another bear that pervaded my thoughts as a child and youth was Smokey. Since many Americans would perceive the U.S. as a "Christian nation," the dominant society would prefer us not to think of nature as having a spirit or guardian. Ironically, it is the image of Smokey that has come to fill that void in the American mythos: Smokey has become the spirit of the forest, guardian of the trees and animals. Smokey for me is a reminder that we are all apart of the web of creation, that "whatever befalls the earth, befalls the people of the earth." Nature is important to me; our attitude toward it, how we treat it, and what we do to it not only testifies to how we view the planet, but how we treat each other…

Emerson has a quote that goes: "That which dominates our imagination and our thoughts will determine our lives, and character." For me, being a queer bear is more than just a sexual identity, it is a way of being and acting. For me, it does not mean walking around in a motorcycle jacket, chomping down on a cigar, but it means intentionally being loving & nurturing, accepting, seeing the Spirit of God in all, and seeking right relationship with others and the environment.

God or mammon?

• "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also," Matthew 6:21.
• "No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon," Matthew 6:24.

Where is the moral outrage that supposedly fueled the election of November 2004? Where is that moral indignation now that President Bush has revealed his budget for the upcoming fiscal year?

In January, I was privy to a discussion wherein a Rev. Mari Castellanos stated that the biggest moral document a leader could put out is a national budget; and that she could take one glance at a person's monthly bills and tell each person where his or her heart is.

Jesus states that "where your treasure is, there your heart wil be also." Yes, I realize he also said do not to store up treasures here, but in heaven, but he also said "strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well," in Matthew 6:33. Jesus desires mercy, not sacrifice, and he reminds us that what we treat the poor and marginalized is how we ultimately treat God. Jesus pointed to God's reign forever, but it was also to be practiced amongst his followers now, for through Jesus, it was at hand.

There was some hope in President Bush's talk of wanting to leave no child behind, but what happens education funding is slashed? Does military spending lead to higher test scores, or maybe to even more jobs outside of the military industry?

Does God love a bazooka, or the little children? Where is your heart? Where is your compassion?